I Had longed to Move away from the hissings of spent lie

An unfinished missive has to be done away with when you find some free time. My fore fathers will not forgive me if I don\'t complete my rituals gracefully. Had started writing this a long time back, saved it in the system and forgot everything about it. Glanced it by chance and thought its imperative upon me to print my signature at the end of this note in grand style.

This has got nothing to do with the way I feel at present. This is just to do some time travel into the Stone Age and relish the ecstasy I got the first time when fire got produced upon rubbing 2 stones.

So when will I go away once for all? When will that time come to me? Every year I keep thinking this is it, this is the final year am goanna stay. But in my case history keeps repeating itself, and as I said before I keep saying the same thing every year. The Doctor whom I see regularly says that I have got some incurable disease called \"the staying power syndrome\"---and then a few searches here and there for the right word takes me to what is called Persistence.

I have a disease, a syndrome, carried almost very successfully into the fourth unsuccessful year. (I.e. I have already made three fruitless attempts to go away).Even the doctors can\'t do a thing to help me, in fact they can\'t even try to appease me. When I asked him \"Will everything get solved? Will I get to go the place that I had always wanted to go? Will the costly medicines and painful injections punctured into me bring me back to consciousness?” All he told me was \"TID\".TRUST IN GOD.

Maybe he\'s correct. But as far as a patient is concerned, his doctor is his god. I told him this absolutely undeniable fact and he patted me on the back and said \"Your god will save you\" and smiled inside his visibly hidden heart.

Only the almighty can do something, maybe he can give me some more luck; maybe he can make me a bit more intelligent thereby making the toughest question paper a bit easier.

As my friend says, this is what is called the X=X+1 syndrome. X is the thing that you have done once.X+1 is a state where you are tempted to do it again, no matter how difficult the strain is, no matter how much effort its goanna involve, no matter how much sacrifice you need to do only to fail one more time. In this state of imbroglio, you decide against stepping back, against giving up, against seeking worldly pleasures and hence finally you decide to go for the kill once again as you believe you have something called efficacy in you to produce the desired effect, something called the power in you to take you out of this place to someplace where you can find some solace, someplace where you can see green grass without wearing green glasses, someplace where you can understand without seeking to be understood.

Dylan Thomas says it all in his amazingly best poem that i have ever come across.

I have longed to move away
From the hissing of the spent lie
And the old terrors\' continual cry
Growing more terrible as the day
Goes over the hill into the deep sea;
I have longed to move away
From the repetition of salutes,
For there are ghosts in the air
And ghostly echoes on paper,
And the thunder of calls and notes.

I have longed to move away but am afraid;
Some life, yet unspent, might explode
Out of the old lie burning on the ground,
And, crackling into the air, leave me half-blind.
Neither by night\'s ancient fear,
The parting of hat from hair,
Pursed lips at the receiver,
Shall I fall to death\'s feather.
By these I would not care to die,
Half convention and half lie.

Even though I didn\'t go out, am able to see the whole universe minusculed inside an atom, am able to see the future in the presence of the past because I believe that Internet will come back to ice age in sometime from now. Perception is all that matters. Wearing glasses doesn\'t help you as much as cleaning your eyes with a few drops of eye drops.